Grief

Grief

She said something and I was thrown awake
No longer in her sway, or in the spell of the moment
But doused with cold consciousness, stringing up in my stomach
And yet with dropping head and sagging shoulders

Why is it that certain thoughts and words
Take me back to nightmares of long ago?
Awaken in me sleeping monsters of grief
Till my knees sway with doubt and weakness?

I'll shut them out for now with a defiant yell
Fill my ears with it, close my eyes and swing my head
Yet with the relief of raw isolation comes a frightening thought
Of why I should need such unnatural relief